My failure is your gain, my friends! We all experience failures from time to time and probably more often than we would like to admit. Feeling the failure concerning your role as a parent is something that hits on a completely different level. Keep reading to find the 2 lessons and a solution that I learned from my most recent humbling moment!
You see amidst my fantastic Mother’s Day gifts there was a small dagger to my heart. We all know too well, kids are honest in the most endearing ways. With nothing but the best intentions, they tell it like it is. Among all those pictures and coupon books I received, there was one little thorn, as I read my eight-year old’s heart-shaped book of adjectives describing me, there was one word that hit a bit hard, “busy”. Once ok, twice so be it, but unfortunately, it came up more times than it should have. She used that word like it was a badge of honor for me. Something she thought was a compliment. For me, though I knew that wasn’t a badge I wanted to wear.
So Let’s Be Realistic…
Busy is not a word I want to come to my child’s mind when she thinks of me. A moment of reflection left me understanding just how often she hears that. After all, when I think of a word to describe myself it is the first word that comes to mind! While there is no possible way for me to avoid ever having to tell my child “I’m busy I can’t right now” I must stop dead in my tracks when I feel that word starting to leave my mouth and instead press pause long enough to listen to what they are needing or asking for. Most of the time pausing my “to do list” soundtrack (because it plays in my head ALL DAY LONG!), long enough to find out what they need allows me to see if this is something I can give attention to immediately or not. A matter of minutes of attention to them does their soul good for the day. Minutes of our day make a huge impact on our kids entire day.
The 2 lessons I learned are simple:
- Words matter-What you say to your kid’s matters, they hear it all. The words you say often become a part of who you are to them. Make sure you want to be those words.
- Balance matters-We cannot possibly be at our children’s beck and call 24 hours a day. Newsflash: We’re not expected to be! Life keeps us looking in many directions sometimes several at one time. Make sure one of those directions you’re looking often is at your kids.
Good news, there is a solution! It is simple but will probably take some time to become a habit. I touched upon it above. Just start trying to catch those words when you feel them before you have a chance to say them. Even take them back if they do slip out! Hear them out and find out what they are wanting your time for. Sometimes it’s simple, sometimes it’s not. The act of stopping to listen to what they need even if you can not address it immediately does so much good for your child sense of love and respect.
2 Lessons and A Solution
Please learn from my 2 lessons and the solution to improve your daily interaction with your kids, it is so worth it! Before you know it, the first words out of your mouth will be the furthest thing from being busy and that moment reprieve from your “to do list” soundtrack will be welcomed!!
Want to know more about finding balance? Check out these posts!